How do I handle a new nanny family who doesn’t appear to trust my skills?

Working as a nanny for first-time parents can be challenging, especially if the new parents seem to question your knowledge. Learn what to do if your nanny family doesn’t appear to trust your skills from CareNectar expert Mirella Alexis.

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I recently started as a nanny for a new family caring for their first baby. The mom works from home and has insisted she do all the bottle feedings so far, which isn’t a problem since this is part of their bonding experience. This week, she asked me to give the baby a bottle, but stood over me the whole time telling me what I was doing wrong. At one point, she held the bottle for me while I held the baby. I was hired for my skills and experience, with over 15 years of caring for young children, including 4 newborns. Despite this, I feel that she thinks I am incompetent at times. How do I best navigate this?


I’m sorry your experience and skills are under question. Your nanny boss obviously hired you because she knows you are capable. However, becoming a new parent is a whirlwind of emotions, and I’m sure she doesn’t mean to undermine you. But all she wants to do is take care of her son. Let her know that you want to do the exact same thing!

I suggest having a frank discussion with her, and bond over the fact that you both want to give the best care possible to the baby. Remind her why she hired you in the first place. Tell her of your experiences and capabilities; it will put her at ease. And have a heart-to-heart, letting her know that you look forward to bonding with her little one in order to foster the best relationship possible. If she wants to be present the next time you feed the baby, and she begins to interject, talk her through your knowledge. Sometimes moms just have pregnancy brain and don’t realize what they are doing or how they are coming across.

Now, with that being said, you shouldn’t have to explain yourself over and over. Make your nanny mom feel comfortable, but don’t let her micromanage you. Being a nanny is a very personal job, much more than many others, making it difficult to set boundaries. However, setting boundaries will keep everyone sane and encourage a positive working environment. Having a good relationship with your bosses is equally essential to have a good relationship with the child. You can never go wrong with open and honest communication.

We hope this helps and remember, we’re here for you!

Meet The Expert

Mirella Alexis

Mirella has been a family and childcare advocate for nearly two decades. With her bachelor’s degree in early childcare education, Mirella immediately started expanding her portfolio as a professional nanny, early childhood educator, and newborn care specialist. She later obtained her certification in child nutrition, positive discipline, and child abuse prevention. She expanded her professional reach more in 2016 by taking on the role of labor and postpartum doula. In 2020, Mirella became the Vice President of The Nanny Sitter Fund. She’s excited to be bringing her passion for childcare to the masses, making child welfare everyone’s responsibility. Learn more about her at